Most of my Problems come from T.V.

This morning was like any other morning, I sit there eating my Cinnamon Life cereal while watching Saved by the Bell.  When I was younger I lived and breathed for Saved by the Bell.  I still like to watch it sometimes even though there are plenty of plot holes and the dialogue is seriously lacking.  It reminds me of my childhood and takes me back to a simpler time when apparently kids in high school don't have sex or do drugs.  (Remember the episode when the movie star Johnny Dakota comes and he does pot and all the kids are so shocked that they do this whole anti-drug campaign- so believable!)  Anywho, this mornings episode was particularly alarming because it was the one where Kelly and Zack break up.  This is word for word how the conversation goes.  Mind you Kelly is cheating on Zack with another guy.  

(Imagine the sappy "How am I Supposed to Live Without You" playing in the background to really set the mood)

Zack: I know there's something going on between you and Jeff, just talk to me.

Kelly:  I don't know how to say this, it's just that Jeff and I have been working together and...

Zack: Do you really like him?

Kelly: No. Yes. I don't know.  It's just all happening so fast.

Zack: Kelly what happened, I thought you loved me?

Kelly:  I do love you Zack.  It wasn't supposed to be this way, not for us.  I didn't want to hurt you for anything in the whole world.

Zack: I thought we'd always be together. 

Kelly: Zack I'm so sorry.

Zack:  I'll miss you Kelly, but hey how about one last dance?

Kelly: I'd like that.  

And then they dance as the sappy song fades out.

Here I am mouthful of cereal when it hit me!  This is what is wrong with me, I was given the worst example of a breakup ever!  I mean I've had my fair share of breakups and never ever do they go this smooth.  It's never "oh I cheated on you and I don't like you anymore".  "Hey that's all right, let's have one last dance".  From my fuzzy memory of high school I think it goes more like this...

(Names have been changed to protect the identity of the persons involved)

Delsea:  Hey I have something to tell you and the only reason I'm telling you is because you're probably going to find out from someone else anyway.  I kissed someone else last night but hey, I'm really sorry about it. 

Gayson: You %*^%$!  I'm going to spread horrible rumors about you all over school.

Delsea:  Fine by me!  I already told everyone that you're a jerk and possibly a little gay!

Gayson: I can't be gay, I already made out with your best friend!

Delsea: What? You're a @#$%^&*!

Gayson: You're a #$%^!

That was a completely fictional occurrence of course, so I can only imagine this is what it would be like to have an explosive breakup.  Anyway, I realized I may have been given a slight skewed view of what real life would be like.  Also someone failed to mention that you're not going to be best friends for the rest of high school and then run off to Vegas and get married.  Actually what you are going to do is run into them at the grocery store in your disgusting Saturday-only sweats, after you have just run three miles, and you're all alone buying tampons and deodorant! I'm going to write to Fox right now so I can create a TV show that really prepares our youth for the wonderful rights of passage to come.